Solve the Child Care Million Dollar Puzzle

It started with an age old question from a friend, “How do women go back to work full time? What do working parents do with their children? Especially, during off school days like Election Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring, etc.? How about snow days? Full time camp in summer?”

Yes, working for yourself might seem like it’s going to solve the childcare problem, but an entrepreneur has commitments, too. If you want to keep your professional credibility, you need a plan B (and maybe plan C and D) for your baby, your toddler, and even your school aged child.

Another friend provided one of the best responses I have ever read. She’s agreed to let me print here.

—————–

How do you solve the child care puzzle?

This is a really tough question. Here are my thoughts:

1. In my fantasy world, you have family in the area and they step in to provide babysitting– regularly or on an as-needed basis for those strange holidays. We do not have this arrangement (parents are out of state or not well enough to help)– but a few friends of mine do have families who help out majorly.

2. Neighborhood grandma: Growing up, when my mom entered the work force, she had to find a place for my little brother to go before and after school. She found a retired grandma who would take in my brother before and after school. It was easier in the “old days” because, for example, you could get the school bus to stop pretty much anywhere (or even take a different route home)– now, the rules are much tougher, but allowances are made for regular transportation to babysitters.

3. Nanny share: Some families (more common in some neighborhoods) share nannies– they might have a nanny two or three days a week, which lets them work on those days.

4. Au pair: The current rate for au pairs is around $355/week, which for 40 hours of care would be doable, since we normally pay $15/hour to babysit just the two older kids. I’d be able to work at least a day a week (probably more like 2-3) and could cover the au pair fee myself with earnings. The downside would be that the person would have to live in our house– which is big, but not set up for that type of sharing. For example, we do have a guest bedroom, but the bathroom is currently being used by the kids.

5. Stop funding retirement and hire more help: If we needed to hire a nanny, that would be what we might have to consider doing– but retirement savings is so important so we have been unwilling to do that.

6. Don’t go back to work full time. I ended up quitting a job that I loved to stay home because it was so hard to work out childcare. I just decided that for now, I should be home with them. I am lucky in that I have a nursing job that I can do per diem, part time, or full time, and pretty much any shift– but even with all that flexibility, it was just too hard for me to figure out the daycare aspects– so I quit.

7.  Some schools run programs before and after schools. You can pay for care on a daily basis (as-needed) or routinely.

8. Local college students might have students who are able to work for you; many have their own cars. Contact the career placement office to post a job ad.

9. Local daycare facilities. When we did a large school (franchise chain), it was nice because they were open from 7am-6pm, and they never closed down if someone was sick (i.e., if you had a babysitter and they called out sick, you’re out of luck). The downside was that for my kids, the noise was overwhelming– I felt like for me personally it ended up being more like a parking lot for my kids rather than a place where they grew and thrived.

10. Local pre-schools: Nice for enrichment & social aspects, but it’s only 3 hours a day. You can pay for more care there (at $7/hour for up to 3 hours)– but even with 6 hours of care a day, that’s not enough if you have an 8-hour shift somewhere. However, it does make it a little more possible for a neighbor or friend to pick them up and only watch them from 3-5 or 3-6.

11. Local sports facilities. See if yours has a busing arrangement with area schools.

12. I’ve also heard of the local Karate place as taking kids after school (I forget if it’s once or twice a week)– they pick up and then provide a class.

13. Building Blocks: They are a daycare facility that also allows you to buy a day at a time. If I were working and needed care for a school holiday day, I might consider them. I think someone told me that it was $150/day, but don’t quote me on that. I have only talked to one parent who sent their kids there– they ultimately switched– but they had some challenges with their kids so that might have contributed.

14. There are also online resources like sittercity.com and care.com — as well as joining local Moms Club and trading babysitting (which I’ve done and is usually great). Ask at your local church (if you have one). I would stay away from Craig’s List– too many weirdos.

Closing thoughts: It’s just really, really hard to make it work. I look at families with grandparents who help out and I’m envious. However…. not having my parents so close also means that they don’t interfere with my parenting–which is nice, too.  (Trying to find the positive!) When I drive around in the morning dropping my kids at school, and returning home with the baby, I’m always struck by the thought of “Wow, I could be doing so much, but instead I’m home with the baby, and she would probably be just as happy hanging out in a room full of babies”– but then I need to pick my second one up at noon, and be here to greet my oldest at 4 when he gets off his bus– so I feel like I’m at the mercy of their schedules— but in a few years, once they are all in school for a full day, I’m hoping it gets easier (or at least less expensive)– then I could potentially either work overnights (with a shift starting at 11pm and ending at 7am) or weekends, or something…. but right now, I just don’t know how people do it. If anyone solves the puzzle, please clue me in.

Put together by just another mom…

What’s your childcare solution while working? Does it feel like it costs you a million dollars?

 

Are You Working on Mastering The Mommy Track?

New Book Alert:                                            Mastering The Mommy Track: Juggling Career and Kids in Uncertain Times

by

Erin Flynn Jay

 

ADVICE FOR WORKING MOMS TO GET THROUGH UNCERTAIN TIMES AND ACHIEVE HAPPINESS AT WORK AND HOME:

–Publicity expert addresses struggles working moms face during economic downturn and solutions to overcome them

 

         Many working mothers today face great tension between their families and careers. They are more likely than men to feel pressed for time and conflicted about being away from young children while working. They are also more likely to seek out help or guidance.

         In Mastering the Mommy Track: Juggling Career and Kids in Uncertain Times (ISBN 978-1780991238, 2012, John Hunt Publishing, 206 pages, $19.95, available on Amazon), Erin Flynn Jay tells the stories of everyday working mothers, the challenges they have faced and lessons learned. She also offers solutions from experts on how mothers can overcome current issues in order to lead happy, healthy lives at home and work.

         The Great Recession has had a deep impact on working mothers; this book delves into the issues these mothers have faced and timely solutions to overcome them. The Great Recession saw women working harder than ever before to support their families, many being the sole breadwinner while Dad stayed at home, caring for young kids. Many women also experienced burnout and depression, putting their children and spouse’s needs above their own.

         A 2010 Pew Research survey found that 30 months after it began, the Great Recession has led to a downsizing of Americans’ expectations about their retirements and their children’s future; a new frugality in their spending and borrowing habits; and a concern that it could take several years, at a minimum, for their house values and family finances to recover.

         As we gradually recover from the economic slowdown, women are seeking to reclaim their lives. Mastering the Mommy Track helps them do this, offering timely case studies and solutions that work.

         The dozen chapters each address critical issues women grapple with including: parenting, financial, time management, romance, psychological and nutrition/health. Mastering the Mommy Track, while not grim, takes a serious approach, telling the tales of women who have struggled through the economic downturn to achieve a new working attitude.

The need for such a book has become greater as the US economy still sputters along with national unemployment over 8 percent and 100 million Americans without jobs. “When shaping this book, I thought of 12 trigger areas that cause working mothers anxiety today–these became my chapters,” said Flynn Jay. “This was based on my personal experience, research, and feedback from friends and acquaintances.”        

Through a thoughtful and moving read, Mastering The Mommy Track touches on timely topics including:  

  • Unprecedented challenges moms face during this weak economy
  • Advice for getting through these uncertain times
  • The added stress unemployment and lower income brings
  • How mothers can take their careers to the next level–even with active home lives
  • Why many moms are resentful of their partners
  • Why moms must carve out more personal time for themselves

      “Many families across the country are still struggling to make ends meet, and parents are often too afraid to speak publicly about it. The middle class is facing poverty and many are fighting to survive. Our generation is very different than the one we were raised in,” added Flynn Jay. “My book offers insight that will help working moms improve their personal lives and careers. It is a juggling act to balance home and work duties, and for a lot of women in 2012, it’s a walk on a tightrope–a fear their families will never experience the rewards (vacation, travel, time off) they so rightfully deserve.”

About the author:

Erin Flynn Jay is a writer and public relations executive.

Since 2001, Erin has been promoting authors of new books and small businesses in all industries. Erin has expertise in successfully obtaining print, online and broadcast media placements for experts and authors. She has established on-going partnerships with other public relations agencies and teams with them on projects when her PR and writing skills are needed.

Erin’s articles have appeared in publications including careerbuilder.com, MSN Careers, Brandweek, Costco Connection, Opportunity World, Sales and Marketing Excellence, The New York Enterprise Report and Wealth Manager. In 2010, Erin wrote extensively about timely professional coaching topics for www.coachingcommons.org.

When she is not working, Erin loves to explore all that Philadelphia has to offer with her family. Part time taxi driver for her daughters, she will often be at a park, library or play area like the Nest or Please Touch Museum with her daughters.

She received a B.A. in Communication from the University of Scranton in PA and lives in Philadelphia with her husband and two young daughters.

Website: www.erinflynnjay.com

 

Mastering The Mommy Track is available on Amazon and www.jhpbusiness-books.com.

 

Disclosure:  There might be a page of organizing advice by moi in this newest must-have mommy guide, but I’m on my way to check out all the great advice by the experts Assembled by Erin Jay.

And the Reviews Are In!

Mommies-to-be, isn’t it great when you get sound advice from sage moms?  Mom bloggers are loving The Pregnant Entrepreneur, and they are willing to take up their blog space to talk about it.  Check out what they are saying, and click on their links to enter to win a copy they may be giving away:

In my opinion, this book is really one of a kind. Owning a business is a dream for many woman, but they may think it’s impossible to do this while expecting or already raising a family. Not anymore!

-Kecia at  http://southerngirlramblings.com/the-pregnant-entrepreneur-book-review/

Although there are some great business related tips, the book does not read like a textbook.  If you are trying to balance work and family, then you will most likely find this book extremely helpful and informative. 

-Cake Mom at http://jamielz.blogspot.com/2012/05/pregnant-entrpreneur-review-and.html

Whether you have a small starter business or a larger established company this book will help you navigate through pregnancy while owning your own business.  I wish I had this book 2 years ago while I was pregnant with Jace.  I had been working my jewelry business but stopped because I was so overwhelmed.  This book would have helped me to put things in perspective and keep the business going. 

-Lisa at http://www.astheygrowup.com/2012/05/mamas-ultimate-giveaway-bash-pregnant.html

 

Two aspects of the book that I especially enjoyed were critical questions and case studies. The critical questions at the end of each chapter help motivate and inspire the reader. The real examples of mom success stories are also inspirational and educational.

-Scarlett at  http://momswearyourtees.com/management-tips/pregnant-entrepreneur-book-review/ and https://www.facebook.com/Moms.Wear.Your.Tees.SMM

 

I kid you not – this is one of the most impressive non-fiction, how-to books that I have read in quite a long time.  Targeted to pregnant women who either have their own businesses or are considering starting their own business, it is also an invaluable resource for any self-employed, stay-at-home, working, or student mom.  I suspect that it is a terrific resource for all moms, at every level of working. This book has the potential of being life-changing!

– Cluadine Wolk, Author of It Gets Easier! And Other Lies We Tell New Mothers, Help4NewMoms.com

What to Do When Your Child Stops Napping

Pregnant Entrepreneurs are about to learn about the sweetest sound in the universe: a child sleeping.  For the first two years, you can get an awful lot done from your home office when your child naps.  But somewhere around two, many moms get a little shaky because it appears that your sweetheart is giving up naps, which can destroy the entire balance of your universe.

Here are a few great and practical tips from my friend, Erin Flynn Jay, Philadelphia writer, public relations executive and mom of two girls. http://www.metrokids.com/Blogs/MomSpeak/April-2012/When-Your-Toddler-Drops-the-Nap/  Check out her blog at FlynnMedia.com/blog.

To be completely honest, my own sleep hygiene these days isn’t the best, what with trying to burn the candle at both ends.  But I have always zealously guarded my children’s naptime. In addition to Erin’s tips above, here are a few of my own.

  • When your youngster first starts giving up naps, that doesn’t mean she’s actually ready to give up naps.  This is called a nap strike, and may just be for a few days.  If your child doesn’t get back into a sleep routine, try changing the routine.  If she always sleeps in her crib, for example, try taking her for a drive.  Find a situation she falls asleep in, and try to repeat it over the next week to get her back into a sleep habit.
  • Guard naps religiously if it makes you a better mom and a better business owner.  I am ALWAYS, ALWAYS home for naptime.  That means we miss out on a few events and some lunches with friends, but my kids know the routine, and usually go to bed with little fuss after lunch.
  • When naps fail, turn it into quiet time.  My pediatricians back me up that even a kindergardener needs quiet time.  While it may not be as long as a nap, your child can still stay quietly in their room, reading or playing with quiet toys.  It might be a shorter window than nap, but we don’t need that much time to accomplish our entire daily to do list after all, right?   😉
  • Reward naps.  As a mom, I am not above bribery.  When putting my little ones down for lunch, I often say something like, “I’m really looking forward to heading to the park with you after nap.  But you need to be well rested.  So read quietly and maybe close your eyes so you can have enough energy to do the fun stuff we have planned, alright?” 

Keep these strategies with you as your child ages.  I have found that my days are the best with my kids when they are well-rested, especially as they grow into toddlers and pre-schoolers.

Tax Returns and Significant Money

My bank account just tipped over into “significant money” territory.  I tell you this because it is, well, significant in my mind.  And I want to give you a benchmark for your own business.

I’ve been trying to decide whether to disclose the amount, but I decided not to because every business has a different “significant” number.  Yours might be a steady $25 per week or six-figures a year or a certain dollar figure in your checking account.  It makes no difference, really, except that you track it, watch for it, and celebrate it when it happens. 

My business has been profitable since day one.  Profitable just means that that the income completely pays for all the expenses in the business, including all the indirect expenses like my home office space, business lunches, and office supplies, and of course all the direct expenses like advertising and supplies for my clients. Profitability is good, because no one else, including my spouse, needs to be involved in how my business decides to spend it’s money.

Especially service businesses, like mine, may take a while to get off the ground and produce significant money, but it is a great feeling when you are able to point to a healthy bank balance, something that is large enough to pay for a family vacation, a car, or even a home, and see that your efforts are paying off in the same way they did when you were back working in cubicle-land.

If you are still struggling this year to make your business pay, and you aren’t already working with a CPA, you owe it to yourself to get some qualified advice on your taxes to keep more of your business earnings and get to your “significant money” threshold sooner.  Here are a couple of places to go and look for your next CPA:

http://www.daveramsey.com/elp/home/ictid/tp.nav

http://www.cpadirectory.com/

Best wishes for a healthy business and a healthy baby.

 

 

 

Stay At Home Parents Can Kiss Their Credit Goodbye with No Paycheck

After an article I wrote appeared in Kalamazoo Parents magazine, a stay-at-home dad contacted me because he was mad mad mad about the recent changes curtailing financial rights of non-employed parents.  Did the fed regulations on the CARD ACT of 2009 really update in October 2011 to say that stay-at-home parents without income really have no access to credit?  Here’s what I found.

The information is buried pretty well, but the original reference is here: http://www.federalreserve.gov/newsevents/press/bcreg/20101019a.htm . One of the major provisions of the CARD Act of 2009 was to limit the marketing and credit that could be targeted to college students, who are largely without income.  However, the clarified language expanded the
provision to be of concern to anyone without their own independent income or assets.  See the third bullet in the Fed’s press release:

When evaluating a consumer’s ability to make the required payments
before opening a new credit card account or increasing the credit limit on an
existing account, card issuers must consider information regarding the
consumer’s independent income, rather than his or her household income.

 If you really want to read into it, check out the HRML or PDF link at the bottom of this press release, right about in the middle, where it states:

“The Board generally intended Sec.  226.51 to establish consistent standards for evaluating a consumer’s ability to pay. Specifically, Sec.  226.51 requires that card issuers establish and maintain reasonable written policies and procedures to consider the income or assets and the current obligations of all consumers, regardless of age.

See Sec.  226.51(a)(1)(ii), (b)(1)(i), and (b)(2)(ii)(B). For all consumers, a card issuer must consider either the ratio of debt obligations to income, the ratio of debt obligations to assets, or the income the consumer will have after paying debt obligations. See id. Furthermore, regardless of a consumer’s age, (emphasis added) it would be unreasonable for
a card issuer not to review any information about a consumer’s income, assets, or current obligations, or to issue a credit card to a consumer who does not have any income or assets. See id. Some card issuers request on application forms that applicants simply provide their “income,” while other issuers request that applicants provide their “household income.” The Board understands that there has been some confusion as to whether information provided by a consumer in response to a request for household income can be used by a card issuer to satisfy the requirements of Sec.  226.51. In particular, the Board understands that there has been some uncertainty as to whether Sec.  226.51 established different standards for underage consumers and other consumers with respect to the consideration of household income or assets. There appear to be three sources of this confusion.

   
First, the Board understands that some of the uncertainty regarding household income results from the fact that, in the February 2010 Final Rule, the Board expressly concluded that the income of an underage consumer’s spouse could not be used to satisfy the requirements of Sec.  226.51(b) but did not state a similar conclusion with respect to the general rule in Sec.  226.51(a). See 75 FR 7723. However, the issue of spousal or other household income was not addressed in the context of Sec.  226.51(a) because it was not raised during the comment period.  Accordingly, the Board is addressing the issue in this rulemaking.” 

This rule was tacked onto the previously passed CARD Act after a comment period that expired January 3, 2011, and then the rule passed.  So this was a done deal.  You can
read for yourself the current language in the CARD Act.  You can clearly see that the language was expanded to say any consumer, not just those under 21.

By the way, there are a ton of books on the market, and mine is just one of them, encouraging moms to start and run a professional business from wherever they live.  Although it might feel a bit odd for dads to read these books, they’ve got many of the same issues.  If you are very fired up about this issue (and I hope you are!), let me encourage you to protect your turf with a business if you choose.  If not, that’s cool, too.  We have so many option these days to protect our families and our professional selves, that we really are blessed. 

Which Business is for You?

Many women I talk to, both employed and unemployed, like the idea of having their own business, and they are way talented enough to run one on their own, but they get stumped at the idea of actually chosing a business.  Yes, it’s great if you actually have a novel, easy to implement million-dollar idea.  However, I have to credit a recent guest speaker at Mothers and More, Ethan Mollick, for these wise words:  Originality is overrated.

Start with a quick search on home-based businesses  or something similar, and you are likely to get overwhelmed.  Here is a great post to get you started.  http://simplemom.net/5-business-ideas-for-work-at-home-wannabes/